 DAS-IT #30 
JAMMER, BLOCKER Born in a hut on the plains of Ethiopia, Das-It was introduced to roller skating at an early age. After her parents were killed by soldiers during a violent civil war, little Das was adopted by the reverend Daryl Ray Slingertoner and his wife Betty Sue, missionaries from Bismarck, SD. They had come to her small village to preach the word of God and needed a child to help maintain their household. Though the work was hard, Das made fast friends with the youngest of the Slingertoner clan, Dunn It, who taught Das the art of roller skating. At first it was hard to roller skate on the dirt road that surrounded their hut and Das-It hated it, but Dunn It promised it was a way to freedom in other places and Das-It was determined to leave her homeland and the Slingertoners to make a name for herself in America. After years of emptying the pockets of the family's clothes before she washed them, Das-It had finally collected enough money for a one-way ticket to California. At 15, her favorite television show was Miami Vice and she thought she could be comfortable skating on the beach like the ladies in bikinis on the show. When she got there, though, she felt out of place--not because of her skating skills, which were superior-- but because she was the only fly in the buttermilk. So she looked for a job to earn more money to find a place she could call home…finally. Das-It answered an ad for a seamstress for a major apparel company. But again, she was tricked into a life of sweatshop slavery. This time she was forced to manufacture canine apparel and sew sweaters for the K-9 Wears clothing company. Once she started working there, she was tied to her sewing station, her skates were confiscated, she was forced to sew dog sweaters. Her only escape from her daily torment was to daydream. She dreamt of roller skating and of the dance moves and stunts she would perform once her skates were back on her feet. She remembered the feeling of the wind in her hair while racing tumble weeds on the dirt road in Ethiopia. She decided that when she had the chance to escape, she would steal her skates back and skate to a place that she heard of where a league of extraordinary women skaters competed for fun. She knew that this was the place that she could live the life she had always wanted. During a grueling 36-hour shift of sewing sweaters for Teacup Chihuahuas and Miniature Doberman Pinchers, Das-It found her chance to escape when the evil task master turned her back to reprimand a fellow captive for using the wrong size needle. She removed her severely worn flip-flop from her foot and proceeded to beat the evil task master in the back of the head until she finally succumbed to a severe migraine headache and collapsed on an industrial-sized stitching machine used to make sweaters for Great Danes. Her jugular vein was punctured and she bled to death. With her freedom in hand, Das-It unchained her fellow seamstresses and grabbed her skates from her dead task master's office. She headed south to Austin and found the women she heard so much about. She is now a Hustler and living the life she always dreamt of. Photo by Bill Smotrilla
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